The One About Inori

This is going to be helluva long post… I may have to take many breaks while writing this. Pardon me if I have spelling/ grammar/ vocab mistakes please. And this post won’t be as spicy as others because I’m writing it in an awful hurry! (And you will find out why later)

On the 5th of September, I went for my ante-natal check up with Nad.

I had breakky at around 8am-ish and reached the hospital about 10am. All the while I was planning on what to have for lunch and I remember thinking about having noodles at a chinese takeaway store.

I updated the diabetes team of my readings (I had gestational diabetes) and then proceeded to see the gynae.

All was well until he checked the baby’s heartbeat. It seemed that she had an ectopic heartbeat. It either meant that her heart was skipping beats or she had an ‘extra’ heartbeat.

He ordered some blood tests as well as an ECG. He also booked an ultra-scan for me in 2 weeks.

“You can come back in 2 weeks time for another check up as well as the ultra-scan.”

“Oh… I thought for women in their last month of their pregnancy they would have check ups once every week?”

“Well, we are happy with your blood sugar results and will be happy to have you back in 2 weeks. But I want that ECG done today.”

So Nad and I went up to the Fetal Monitoring Department and they strapped those…….. monitoring thingys that was connected to a computer printing a heart-rate chart, onto my tummy and I had to sit in the chair and try hard not to dislodge the…. monitoring thingys. (Okay, I realise I’m not so good with medical equipment stuff.)

It was close to 1pm now and bear in mind that I had brekky at 8am and by now I was hungry and still thinking of chinese noodles.

We waited a couple more hours and I STILL wasn’t allowed to go home. Midwives came and checked on me but they weren’t too happy with the ECG results so I had to wait, with those blob thingys still strapped to my tummy.

By now I could almost see a chinese takeaway box of PAD-THAI floating in front of me.

The midwives then reported their findings to the doctor and… SIGH… he wasn’t happy with the results so he ordered an ultra-scan on that day itself instead of waiting for 2 weeks. So into the scanning room we went.

Baby was moving alot, as usual. Kicking, moving, basically not keeping still.

The radiologist wasn’t very talkative. And we were by then very tired and hungry so we didn’t ask many questions either.

Finally I asked if baby’s heart was okay and the radiologist replied that she wasn’t too concerned about the heartbeat but she was more concerned about baby’s weight and size.

Apparently, she hasn’t put on much weight since the last scan which was a couple of weeks ago. She was 2.4kg then and now she was only 2.6kg. By dates, she should have been 3kg or something. So the doctor was called and I was, AGAIN, told to wait.

Things got abit hazy here… I couldn’t remember much from this point onwards. Some midwife came to tell me that they had to induce my labour on that day as baby may been in distress. I think I blanked out.

1. I wasn’t prepared for birth. Baby wasn’t due till about another 3-4 weeks time!

2. What?

3. Induce!? OUCH?

4. I’m STILL HUNGRY!!!!!!!

5. Pad-Thai~~~~~~~

I remember calling my mom… no.. I smsed her and she called me and I don’t remember what I told her. She later told me that I had asked her to wait at the airport with her bags for the next flight out.

I couldn’t remember much except that I very much wanted her near me. Nad was there for me. Not that he wasn’t good. In contrast, he took care of me VERY well during my pregnancy. But somehow, experiencing (imminent) childbirth made me think of my mom. Of course I needed Nad to be with me all the time but he had to go home to get my bags and grab a bite to eat etc.

I was asked to lie on the bed and was placed on NPO (Nil Per Oral – I think…) just in case they have to do a c-section. This was a little too hard to bear. I was starving and they had to put me on NPO!!!!!!!! PAD THAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think the midwives must have seen my shocked face. So they got another doctor to explain to me the procedures and to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. She explained that they would insert a balloon and inflate it with water to thin out my cervix. When my cervix was thinned out, they would ‘pop’ the amniotic sac to induce the labour.

Nad came back to the hospital just as they inserted the balloon thingy. I had by then changed into their gown and was lying in the delivery suite. (Looked like a hotel room okay!) Nad boiled some herbal drink for me. It was about 9pm-ish by then and I was FINALLY given something to eat ————- SALAD.

SHIT.

They injected morphine into my thigh and I became high. (That rhymes!) I couldn’t feel the backache that I had since conception and I felt like I was in a dreamy world. However, I couldn’t get any sleep. I think I was too worried.

I was transferred into a step-down room as someone else needed to give birth and there weren’t enough birthing suites. I spent that night in the step-down room, half sleeping, half awake, half high on morphine. (That makes 1 and a half!)

In the morning, they transfered me back into the birthing suite and at 8am, they burst my waters.

I tell you, by that time I already had the hospital staff ‘poking’ into my ‘down under’ about 3 to 4 times – for checking the cervix, inserting the balloon and now bursting the sac. It wasn’t very pleasant and I wished they would leave my ‘down under’ alone!

I was again strapped with the monitoring thingys where they could monitor the baby’s heartbeat as well as any contractions that I had.

Time whiled slooooooowwwwllllyyy… The contractions started small but surprisingly rather close to each other. I was advised to take a slow walk with Nad’s help around the ward, which we did. And I guess it would have been funny to see me walk a few steps, lean against the wall, hold Nad’s hand and breathe deeply. It was becoming more and more painful.

I know I told everyone that I didn’t want any pain relief. I tried the gas but it didn’t help much. When I was dilated 5 cm, I was already hysterical.

THE PAIN. OH. MY. GOODNESS. Has mankind ever known such pain?

I felt like I was going to black out anytime soon. I didn’t sleep for more than 24 hrs and didn’t have much to eat in that 24 hrs either. I was delirious and my breathing went all wonky and I couldn’t concentrate anymore.

I caved in and asked for Epidural.

The anesthetist took awhile to come and meanwhile I was gulping down the gas. I was still delirious and didn’t really comprehend what was going on.

The Epidural kicked in finally and I could relax. Sigh…. Why did I refuse Epidural in the first place? *Snigger*

I could see the contractions on the chart and they were peaking rather high. And I couldn’t feel a thing. Epidural is good!

The midwife explained that she would have to inject Oxytocin to help my uterus to contract more but would monitor me further. At about 7 pm, I was already contracting quite regularly (of course I didn’t feel a thing and was watching some TV program about air crashes). At about 8pm, they decided to introduce Oxytocin to my drip to speed things up a little. I was told that I was 9cm dilated but the midwife wasn’t sure. So she got a doctor to check and the doctor said I was only 7cm.

Shortly after the doctor left, I felt something heavy ‘drop’. I informed the midwife who was beside me and she said she would check. But since I was only 7cm dilated, she didn’t check me there and then.

After awhile I insisted that she check me because I could certainly feel something heavy and I wanted to be sure that it wasn’t my bladder coming out of the birth canal or my intestines or something.

She put on her gloves and parted my legs and………. she saw baby’s hair!

I was ready to push.

Relying on the computer’s chart, I was told to push whenever I had a contraction. (I couldn’t feel, remember?) And push I did! They got a mirror to place at the foot of the bed and Nad was holding on to me all the time.

Soon I could see the baby’s head crowning. I relaxed and she went back in.

So I pushed even more and I pushed and I pushed…

FINALLY, her head was born. They checked her head and told me to push at the next contraction. I didn’t wait for the next contraction. I continued to push. Soon, my baby was born on the 6th of September. It was almost 9pm. My labour lasted for 13 hours.

I was immediately given her to hug and she was crying her lungs out. I cried too.

They stitched me up (I had an episiotomy) and then they helped me to clean up while Nad held our baby girl.

Sadly, I was too exhausted. I broke down many times and I couldn’t hold my weight. I was very weak after not eating and not sleeping and I couldn’t understand anything anybody said.

I only remember sobbing, “I don’t understand what you guys are saying!!!”

I needed sleep.

Well, that’s about all I have to say about the birthing process.

We stayed in the hospital for about 4 days and then we came home. My mom was here to help me and Nad during my confinement period.

Everyone is fine. I call her my Sunshine.

First few hours of her life. She was 2.3kg, 23 days early from her due date.

Crying.

She had jaundice and so was placed in the incubator under UV lights. She was so thin then!

Wearing a mask! Hehehe.

Smiling.. At home already.

On my bed. She’s a wriggly little worm. That’s what the midwives called her too.

I’m bored.

I’m STILL bored. *YAAAAAWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNN*

One of her many weird sleeping patterns.

She could lift her head up when she is on her tummy since she was only 2 weeks old. That’s an incredible feat for a small bub. Midwives were shocked. She could also flip herself back.

She looked more like Nad when she was just born but now she is starting to look more and more like me.

I’m also knitting for her. Yes, I’ve picked up knitting. I’ve already knitted a pair of booties, a beanie hat and I’m halfway through a blanket and a pink headband (because everyone thinks that she is a boy). Will post pics of that later when I have the time.

Urm… that’s all for now.

The reason why I’m rushing through this is because she may wake up anytime soon for her feed.

I’ve never known that I could love someone else so much. It’s a new kind of love. Different from the love I have for my parents, sister, Nad, the dogs and cat. One cannot compare this type of love.

She has become my reason to live and given me strength and faith in The Lord. I pray that God will always be with her and that His angels will always be here to protect her.

You are my Sunshine, my dearest darling.