The One About Inori

I’ve recently witnessed many more than enough scenarios to make me cringe at my fellow countrymen.

Few weeks back, Julez and I witnessed three bitches women, quarrelling outside my workplace.

They spoke in a mix of hokkien and mandarin and they were pointing their fingers at one anothers’ faces.

They were so loud that we could hear them despite being in an all-aircon glass room. I couldn’t make out what exactly they were quarrelling about because they spoke in dialect but one of the women shouted at all the passers-by not to purchase stuff from the other woman (whom I assume was a vendor in the compound).

Then, this same woman screamed,

“Why you no talk english?(sic) Use english lah! English universal language!”

Gawd…

They think speaking in english would solve their problems or daunt their opponent? If only life were so easy…

I’ve also came across one too many children who bang the glass doors of my workplace, scream their heads off in my workplace, touch things which they do not have permission to touch, wander into places they are not allowed to go to etc.

And what amazes me the most is that their parents, DO NOT DISCIPLINE THEIR CHILDREN.

They do not offer any apologies when I blatantly (but still rather politely) told their kids not to touch/ bang/ scream etc. They probably forgot they had kids in the first place.

These kids are obnoxious, rude little brats.

The following conversation took place few months back and up till now, I still feel like slapping that little bugger.

The urchin was about to open the door to enter the room

Me: Please do not go in.

Urchin (in disrespectful manner): Why can’t I?

Me: Because I said so.

Urchin: My dad is in there.

Me: Your dad is coming out, please wait outside.

Urchin pulls at the doorknob anyway.

Me: You CANNOT go in!

Urchin: WHY CAN’T I?

This conversation took place in mandarin, of course. Because I doubt that whelp understood any english at all.

In the days when I was his age, I doubt I dared to answer back to someone whose age was double of mine. And guess what? My mother would make sure she punished me if I were ever rude to anybody.

There was once, during a parent-teacher meeting, I was rude to my form teacher in front of my mother. Wrong move. She slapped me across my face in front of my teacher and dozens of students.

Looking back, I must have seethed with hatred towards my mother. But now, I’m so glad I got my deserved punishment. Because, thank God, if not for all the harsh punishments I had gotten from her, I would be someone whom I’d love to hate right now.

Two days ago, I was sitting opposite a pudgy couple who, lets just say, weren’t pleasing to the eyes, on the MRT.

The man had bad acne scars on his face and stubbles all over his chin which made his face look very ‘untidy’. The woman had a bulging tummy. In three places.

Now, I do not, I repeat, I DO NOT judge people by their looks because that will be very unfair. In fact, I shouldn’t even be judging people in the first place. BUT, respect HAS to be EARNED. Not given free.

I was ok sitting opposite them until they starting smooching. Ow. My eyes smarted.

Then, the guy took off his smelly slippers and placed one leg on the MRT seats.

Since he was wearing bermudas, his leg hair and pockmarks were in view of all commuters.

Trust me. Not the most beautiful sight to behold.

I believe these people mentioned are Singaporeans of the same age group as I am (I’m talking about those kids’ parents, not the kids themselves). As Singaporeans, we are given equal opportunities in our studies and a chance to go to school.
Why do these people who obviously do not even BOTHER to act gracefully, behave like they had received little or no education?
I do not comprehend!

The Government (must capitalise this word) has encouraged couples to have babies. What? I’m not having any of MINE growing up with obnoxious brats. I do not want my children to be influenced by insolent roaches. What has Singapore come to be?
You are who you project yourself to be. If you do not want to come across as uncivilised, then don’t act barbaric. Quod erat demonstrandum.

This is bad.

I left work after midnight last night due to some emergencies. Thank God I live nearby and my kind boss sent me home.

I love my job. I don’t mind staying late. But it does wear me out sometimes.

Today (Sunday) is was my off-day and I had planned to go to church. Since my boss lived somewhat nearby, I thought of hitching a ride from them to church (they attend the same church! ). But I guess they were too tired too. And I was also too tired to move my lazy butt off the bed. Snoozed till 11-ish and decided to wake up.

Then, I decided to go out to look for crucial items with my dearest sister;

Crucial item #1: Jeans. My current Giordano jeans I wear to work has a HUGE hole at the right knee. It was a small hole at first and it just ripped open as time passed. Minkie loves to run into this pair of jeans’ from the bottom right leg and come out through that gaping hole. (-___-”)

I didn’t think of getting new jeans because having a hole somewhere is quite fashionable, isn’t it? But yesterday, I felt a teeny hole at the buttocks area. (-_______________-)

No choice. Look for affordable and comfy jeans then. *Shrugs*

In the end, I didn’t buy any. Because I couldn’t find one that was comfy enough and I spent more time looking for Crucial item #2 than a pair of jeans. I guess I would have to wear my Levis’ ones to work from now on. Which I hate coz they are thicker, which means I will perspire more, and heavier, which means I have to carry extra weight while WORKING.

Crucial item #2: I hope Nad doesn’t read this part. I went to look for something for his birthday. Lulu and I must have walked around town 3 times or so to the different places which we thought would sell this item. I even called up big-brand-companies to check their stocks. Nadah. Nadah. Nadah.

All of them told me the same thing, “Sorry, no stocks left. If we order it for you, the fastest it can come is in 3 months time.” (-____-)

3 months won’t even be in time for a wedding present. Let alone a birthday present.

When it drew closer to 7pm, I told Lulu that I’m giving up the search today and probably call up more stores before actually going down on Tuesday. Either that or I have to purchase it online.

Then, we went to Jan’s place to collect Nad’s birthday card. Which I bought a week ago. Which I stupidly left in Jan’s bag for God knows what reasons.

Therefore, we found ourselves in a heartland mall near Jan’s place. We decided to look for ideas for Crucial item #3. So we headed for Popular Bookstore.

However, Lulu wanted to show me how an electric baby grand piano looks like. So instead of heading straight to the bookstore, we detoured around to the music store. By doing so, we had to walk past a teeny tiny small little store that might carry stocks for Crucial item #2. Since this store’s other branches, which Lulu and I have already been to, did not have the stocks either, I only went in to satisfy myself, that I’ve done my best to search for it. So I went in and asked the counter staff.

A nice lady went to search for the item and a nice gentleman keyed in the item in their system. He told me, “Ok, hang on Miss.”

In my mind, I was thinking, “He’s going to tell me there is none left. And I have to wait for 3 months before they can bring the stocks in.”

Before he could reach his colleague, she pulled out THE ITEM and passed it to him, and he passed IT to me!

Lulu and I almost screamed.

Damn you, Jan. If we had gone to your place earlier, we wouldn’t have wasted so much time looking for it. Yes. We blame YOU. You and your heartland mall. *mutters*

Hahaha. Just kidding. So we went to Popular to search for Crucial item #3.

Crucial item #3: Materials for making our wedding invitation card.

Most of the stuff for my wedding will be made by either me, my mom, Lulu, Janice and Mer. This includes the invitation cards which I’m so dead now coz they haven’t even taken their form yet and I have to send them out SOON. *Pulls hair out*

Anyway, this heartland mall’s Popular only had one packet of the shiny card left. So we went to Jan’s house first before going to another heartland mall and this time round, we got 10 packets of shiny cards, 2 packets of nice paper, 1 packet of silver string, 8 packets of envelopes. *Beams*

I shall work Lulu’s ass off in helping with the cards.

We went home for late dinner after that and chatted with my mom for awhile before coming back home. (Err, I have 2 homes…..) The dogs have not pooped. So I had nothing to clean up after. Thank God for little mercies. Was so tired today!

So yeah, I’m exhausted. Because work is tiring. Running around to get stuff for the wedding is also tiring. And my tuition kids are having their final year exams. I have to go for extra lessons now.
At least, in 2 weeks time, I can take a break from giving tuition for awhile and concentrate on the wedding.

And in an estimated time of 5 months, I can really take a break and be a housewife for quite awhile! (I mean, a stay-at-home-playing-Final Fantasy 12-house-wife).

Hey! I think I deserve it!

Sorry for the literary diarrhoea.  Am in a surprisingly good-to-write-boring-stuff-mood today.

I recently read on a dog forum that I frequent, a friend of mine highlighted a (disturbing) trend adopted by youngsters of +~s|ng4p0r3zzz~+.

I have to admit that I get really put off by such typing.

Whenever I come across blog entries or smses or msn messages that 5pEaks d|z WaEzz, | uSua||yz 1gNor3z w0rxx.

People who use this new form of language (May I call it Damguage? Damaged language) think they are being really xXxc00LxXx. Hurhurhur. But they aren’t.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand what is so nice about hitting the shift or caps key every alternate letter they type.

And what’s up with the !@$!&@&(!~~~!!”~++__-=++ signs in front and behind words?

If you think these people are in their teens, YOU ARE WRONG.

Although most of them are indeed in their teens, I’ve come across many adults, some older than I am, using Damguage.

*Shudders*

And these people actually go through education alright.

For your own sake, please stop writing like a retarded turd. It is irritating and it is not pleasing to the eyes. Most of all, it reflects stupidity. If we were meant to write like this, it would have been taught in your primary school from day one, alright?

It is not unique. It is not cute. It is not fashionable. It is not something to be proud of.

I can understand words have to be shortened when using text messages or even when on online messengers. But on forums, blogs, friendster testimonials, emails, online games? Spare us.

Being Singaporean afterall, I do use singlish to a certain extent. My command of english is not as good as many people around me (including Jan, Nad, Jules and even my mom), I try my best not to ‘degrade’ myself any further.

But if there is one singlish “suffix” I hate, it would be liao.

As in:

“I do finish already liao.”
*Cringe*
Don’t ask me why.

I can deal with lor, lar, meh, mah. But never with liao.

I’m not saying people from USA, UK, OZ, NZ etc are the best in their command of english. I do know of many of these so called Native Speakers not being able to spell for their own life. But I’m also not saying that we should be proud of bastardizing the english language.

If the gah-men is thrilled with singlish, they would be giving international speeches in it.

Imagine our PM saying/ typing this,

“Aiya, you know horx, nowsadayz the ehkenormey not so good larx. ~>.<~ Thatz why hor, it affeks the plices. Bus fares upzz, taxes upzz, ploperties plices oso upzzz. Oni the salary cannot upzz larx. (-__-"). How? Boh pianZ larx. LL and deal with it lorX. Lolololx. We will do our best larx. Cuz we r0xX0rX and pWnz euUz!!"

(That took me so long to type!)

a1yaz, t0mO|o i 5t1lL n1d 2 g0 g1b tU|t10n lArx. b3||ie tiRe3dx de, mUz g0 oRh orHz liA0z. iF n0rtz tom0|o suR3 wi|| d1e oN3z.}/~^+=

If you bored, can check out diz blog larx. +:-*mUsEuM-oRf-Tw1TzZz*-:+

Meanwhile, if I receive friendster testimonials like this:

hhees. x))
thankks ferr addiingg mwee wurhhs.
ddo take care kaes?
ddrop mwee a testii.  

It goes straight into the dumpster.

*+~^\\Goodnite worx. //*^+~

Being born and raised in Singa-Bloody-Pore, I’m exposed to many cheena ways of getting married which since young, I could never understand why the couple should do this or that just because the others also do the same.

For example, most wedding couples would go for a studio or outdoor shoot in their rented gowns or tuxes prior to their wedding. Some even have many other costumes (I mean like traditional chinese costumes, not medieval costumes alrite…) which they include in their photoshoot.

I find it a waste of money.

Firstly, weddings in Singapore are so commercialised that the studios take advantage of this and they make sure they overcharge couples by alot. Therefore, a simple photoshoot could set a couple back by a few thousands of dollars.

This money can help me in my studies. Why should I spend so much on something which doesn’t mean much since it’s not on the actual day itself? It’s just a simple photoshoot!

Secondly, do you think alot of people are interested in looking at your wedding studio photos of you and your spouse?

I find myself liking wedding photos taken on the day itself, with radiant smiles and happy relatives, or family portraits with pets etc, rather than boring 20 pages of the bride and the groom alone, posing in silly poses, pretending to be dining when their backdrop is a posh restaurant, pretending to run on the beach IN THEIR WEDDING GOWN, pretending to ARGHHHHHH!!!!! IT’S SO FAKE! STOP IT! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!

And I’ve seen a few of these albums lately at bridal studios with Janice. Both of us having gone through media school, think that many photographers actually do not make the mark.

Most photos have no focus. Some have silly props that are huge and colorful and take the attention off the couple. Some have tree branches ‘sticking’ out from the couples’ heads (mergers). Some are just plain idiotic. We cringed at almost every page we turn.

And this, you want to charge $1 to $2k? Puh-Lease! *Rolls eyes*

If Nad wants, we will do a family portrait WITH my dogs and cat some other time. It doesn’t have to be BEFORE the wedding since it means NOTHING. It’s not on the actual day itself anyway. And I can handmake my own album and print my own photos, thank you very much. In fact, I just need someone to use MY Nikon D70 to shoot pictures of us. Nad can do the set design since he was my lecturer for that module. Duh. Stop trying to cheat me of my money.

Oh, and another thing on studio photos;

Why would I want a HUGE framed picture of me and Nad hanging over our bed? I may be narcissistic at times but I’m not fond of looking at myself before I sleep every night. I may end up having nightmares.

Another thing which I do not like about weddings in Singapore is that in the morning, the groom is supposed to go to the bride’s house and her ‘sisters’ (when I say ‘sisters’, I mean ‘girl-friends’) will PREVENT him from entering the house by making him do stupid things.

Such as:

• Push ups on the (dirty) floor outside the gate
• Eating wasabi or red hot chilli padis
• Wear women underwear on the outside
• Bunny hop

You get the idea.

I am wondering, what if, one day, the groom happens to be a non-obliging, stern and serious man? Would he walk away in a huff, saying that he’s not interested in marrying the girl?

Nad will never get to do all these. Because I do not appreciate mindless games like these. I know this is all in the name of good fun. But sorry, I do not get kicks out of torturing my husband-to-be. He has done more than enough to prove that he is the one I want to marry. And no, it does not lie with eating wasabi or dirtying his perfect suit or tux to do push-ups on the dirty floor. I rather he save the energy to do housework or something.

FYI, I cringe whenever I see this happening. I don’t find it funny at all.

Every girl day-dreams of their wedding at some point in their lives.

I always dreamt that my wedding would be in church. That when I walk down the aisle with my dad, it will be the first time that my groom sees me in my wedding dress. We say our vows. We sing some hymns.

Well, I guess it’s gonna be quite different from my dream.

Firstly, we are not yet members of the church. So our wedding would be held at a hotel instead.

Secondly, there is this chinese tea ceremony that has to take place in the morning before the wedding. Therefore, it will not be the first time that Nad will see me walking down the aisle in my wedding dress.

But as it says in the Bible, Honour Thy Parents. I shall. My mom wants the tea ceremony to be held in the morning. Although I am crying inside, I will oblige.

Just count my blessings that I do not have to inherit spittons and wash basins from my parents. I won’t know where to put them!
I would really like to receive gifts or non at all from my guests. Because that’s how it is in western countries. The new couple receives gifts instead of angpows.

However, take into consideration that weddings are relatively much much much more affordable in western countries, and weddings in Singapore is so commercialised that every one from the hotel to the bridal salons to the florists to the make up artists to the photographers etc etc etc, charge such exhorbidant prices that I would like to receive angpows instead.

I’m not being hypocritical alrite. I do not expect 100% returns because afterall, it’s OUR wedding.

I had a chance to hold the wedding Down Under instead. But I chose not to because my family and friends are here.

And not to mention, dogs are not welcomed in most places here. So my wedding excludes Benji and Chiyo.
To be very frank, I’m not exactly happy. Just get it over and done with then. I’m happy to be with Nad. That’s more important if I look at the bigger picture. 5 more months and I leave the country that I love but resent at the same time (more resentment than love, actually.) To a country towards which I have no feelings for, yet.

I’m not running away. I’m merely running towards a bountiful supply of opportunities which the mother country failed to provide in the first place.

What’s the next best thing to you besides having an….. orgasm?

*Giggles*

To me, it’s POOPING!

I love to poop!

I feel SOOOO satisfied and happy after moving the bowels. I love to poop.

However, sadly, unfortunately, I usually poop twice a week.

My metabolic rate is so freaking slowwwwwwwww that I feel bloated most times.

I treasure each time spent with Mr. Toilet bowl so much… *plays melancholic music on the violin*

However (limited vocab), ever since I came back from down under,  I’ve been pooping regularly once every 2 days! Praise the Lord!!!!! (I’m serious)

I feel so happy and elated I pray for it never to end and always be this way.

There aren’t any changes to my intake of food nor the food itself. Why has my bowel movements changed? I know not. But that’s fine. I’m very happy. Really.

I think it must have been down under. Did wonders for my down under. Tee hee hee~

Ps: Alrite, I’ve wrote all that crap (pun intended) above because I’m working more than 7 days in a row again. Students’ exams coming. And changing of shifts etc…. Argh. So tired. I have so much so much so much to write but I don’t have the energy yet. Bear with me. Muaks!